Hannah and food

So nobody can dispute the benefits of breastfeeding babies. I breastfed Caleb for about 6 months, even after I went back to work. However.... Hannah....
Hannah had bottles in the hospital before my milk came in. (so did Caleb)
and she became addicted to those bottles, she absolutely refuses refuses to breastfeed. So I have been pumping and pumping and pumping and putting it in a bottle. During the day I pump every two hours. However she never nurses. And Caleb is stressful and Shawn is stressful. OK Shawn is not stressful, but yesterday I was trying to pump and he brought me a screaming child and put him in the same room for me, for a "time out". So I guess we could say Shawn doesn't understand that you have to be completely relaxed to have a "let-down" and be able to pump milk. Plus my blood pressure is really high right now (thank you childbirth) so I think that is contributing to my lack of relaxation/milk supply.

I thought maybe it was my old pump, so I bought a really expensive new breast pump $175. Well..... If I pump 5 times a day, I have enough milk for ONE 4oz bottle of milk. This is soooo pointless. I have even been eating and eating and eating the past few days. I have drank tons water. I have done everything everyone suggests. I even bought some nasty tea with some herbs in it that tastes like flowers in a cup. yuck.

Today I thought to myself ok I am going to try and breastfeed her all day Sunday and all day Monday. I will not go anywhere or talk to anyone and I will relax. However.... if this does not work. I quit, and I don't want to hear anyone else's opinion. I do not want anyone else to send me emails about my boobs or La Leche Club or read this magazine or have you thought about pumping every 20 minutes. etc. etc. etc.

I'm also going to spend time in prayer and reading my bible. Because everyone is making it seem like you're a bad mom if you don't breastfeed your babies. And this makes me even more stressed that they are all judging me.

Don't be a hater